Night out #8: All The Fun of this Fair

Ah night out. That wonderful evening whenever you attach your own bravery towards the sticking point and set your self nowadays websites for dating starters even more spin from the merry-go-round of love. This Option occurred in the Blythe Hill Festival, in which we decided to go to examine some Scummy Mummies…

Therefore I was actually confident I happened to be planning to die. The trail ahead ended up being hazy and shimmering from the intensity of the midday sunlight whilst bore upon top folks. The actual fact that I found myself already as a result of the minimum of clothes, i really could still have the perspiration pouring down my straight back. I’d half-heartedly tried to make a sunhat from my socks, nevertheless had been a totally wasted energy. Previously that day, the fan within the living room had exploded with a loud bang and a flash of fire, preferring to make committing suicide instead withstand the temperature any longer. I took a swig from my alcohol, and made the decision this was it. From the hottest day of the year, I was planning to perish halfway up a hill in Southern London, on my way to a village fair. How embarrassing.

Today I’m sure what you are thinking: “Why would a man exposure their existence regarding the hottest day’s the season to attend a town reasonable?”

The clear answer is actually, needless to say, relationship. A few years ago, certainly my personal funniest pals, Ellie Gibson decided that it was time for you to pursue the woman lifelong desire becoming a stand-up comedian. It’s in her own blood most likely – the woman dad had been the infamous 1980’s option comedian Jim Barclay. Brilliantly, by using the clockwork sense of comical timing her sets would come to be recognized for, she was able to coincide this strong new job way with the delivery of the woman very first kid. Nurseries and comedy groups most likely aren’t that various, mind – in the end, they truly are both filled up with mewling brats desperate for interest. Anyhow, during the woman comedy odyssey, she met Aussie comical Helen Thorne, who was additionally a young mum, and they easily clicked, and began the Scummy Mummies podcast, with quickly become perhaps one of the most well-known child-rearing podcasts on iTunes.

Today these were getting their program on the way, beginning with an appearance on Blythe Hill Festival, which was why I became dragging myself up a hill like a French Legionnaire deserted into the desert. However, it only took one look from my personal gf V. and I picked my self up-and wandered the previous few gardens in the mountain to start our very own day. And just what a great look greeted me. A solitary fun fair journey! An individual food vehicle! A beer dining table! The planet’s saddest cakestand, filled with simply the melted stays of somebody’s cooking hubris! In all honesty, ‘festival’ was just a bit of a stretch – moments before I’d been stressed i would expire through the temperature, and now I found myself faced with a fête even worse than passing.

After queuing up for all thousand hours for a pint (ok two pints. Well. Six.) of over-priced beer, we came over to the “concealed phase” (these weren’t kidding), where in fact the Scummy Mummies happened to be about to do. Helen and Ellie seemed in good spirits, despite the fact that in true Spinal Tap style, they were second in the statement to a Punch and Judy tv series. Not too you’d know it however, while the market lapped upwards their particular confessions of Scummy parenting (Ellie: “A yummy mummy nourishes the lady children a natural quinoa green salad for lunch.” Helen: “While a Scummy Mummy nourishes her young ones fishfingers. Occasionally not even made.” Ellie: “Or as we call it, Captain Birdseye Sashimi.”). The mums and dads actually provided a number of their scummy confessions, using emphasize being a submission from a kid who would scrawled on her card “that period my Daddy ended up being sick in a bin.”

Inspite of the heating, the duo belted through their particular content like they were headlining the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, complete with a rousing rendition of “I would do just about anything For fancy” with deftly reworked words to finish. It actually was an excellent overall performance, filled with fantastic jokes, winning activities, and some fantastic wig work. V. and I also obviously aren’t moms and dads, but we adored every minute of it.

The Punch and Judy tv series after had been decent too.

We guarantee that through this time next year, those two (Er, Ellie and Helen, perhaps not Punch and Judy) will have their own talk program, a fistful of prizes and a sponsorship handle Birdseye, that is certainly not just the six drinks and also the sunstroke chatting – believe me, it really is fête.

*Admittedly, you are probably actually thinking “Why is this man therefore chronically unfit which he cannot walk-up a mountain in the sun without turning into Swamp Thing?”

** In fairness, it was a pizza pie truck known as “VanDough”, therefore bonus factors for this.


If you wish to decide to try a date with the Scummy Mummies for yourself, check out their own formal web site where you could install their particular humorous Podcasts to check out upcoming concert tour dates.


Jon Hamblin produces ‘The Circumstances I’ve completed to wow Women”, a leading weblog that details his frequent disappointments to impress any ladies ever. Read about their other Date Nights here.

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